I would like to fly away. I don’t care to be anywhere. I’m unsatisfied. I’m sad. And it doesn’t make a goddamn difference.
I’m way over my head in German class right now. I’m going to fail my test tomarrow. I jsut want to go to bed.
On the bright side I made a really great friend. He is already very dear to me. Also has a child and a girlfriend back home so no hetero.
I just.. I don’t even feel like I know my best friends anymore. I’m having an identity crisis all the time.
I’m abusing my body. I only enjoy my art classes. I’m falling apart and rebuilding my life every fucking day. Nothing tastes sweet anymore.
This balancing act isn’t getting any easier. I’m very busy and I’m afraid. I want to run away. I want to disappear. I would like to sound original but that is simply not possible right now. I would like to create something beautiful but I can’t do that right now. I would like to love myself completely, entirely. That’s just not going to happen.
I’m wondering what matters.